Name: Hot Dr's Wife!
Location: The Rockies

I am the wife of a surgeon, a mother of a four-year-old son, a sister to a redneck brother, the daughter of a dad I miss daily. Colorado native, raised on a ranch, been on a cattle drive and driven many combines. I am always barefoot, I love my friends, and I insist Happy Hour start at 5:00 pm and not a minute later.

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July 8th, 2008
Vacation, Fourth of July

Apparently, one of the coolest places to be for the Fourth of July is in Redwood City, CA.

We got up early, set the Menfolk down to the parade route to guarantee a spot for a whole damn lot of us, met them there with kids and supplies, and sat down for a pancake breakfast courtesy some really nice firefighters. They made a kickass pancake and sausage breakfast. Bug was most impressed to be in “their house”; he also dressed up in his Transformer pj’s for the occasion.

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The parade kicked complete and total ass. My husband was drooling over the Miss California float …

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… and I told him if he got to drool over those gals, then I got to drool over the men in the SWAT team:

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I’m not entirely sure what band this was …

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… but they came with their own drink cart, and were at least four drinks in, we guessed:

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After the parade and festival and carnie-invested Midway (where it was so blazing hot, but apparently not as blazing hot as usual, and I’d hate to know how hot that is), we went home, packed up some more food and headed down to the Port to reserve our spot for the fireworks celebration that evening.

This was the view …

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… the great spread of food …

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Bug made friends with a little girl and brought her over to me and said, “This is my girl, Leslie!”. He was also very puzzled by the whole porta potty thing. That was a fun one to explain. He did manage to make friends with some teenage girls, too, and hung out with them most of the evening. As long as his buddy L was doing it, he would do it, too. Such a charmer.

We were all pretty thrilled at the fireworks show … they put a barge in the middle of the port and set the fireworks off from there. Although Bug had seen fireworks before, I think this was the first year he really ‘got it’ - and it was a great first one to remember.

(On Saturday, we saw Wall-E and bbq’d and packed. Sunday is where chaos times a million goes down, more on that later)

Episode recounted by HotDrWife
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July 7th, 2008
Day Two of the ‘Cation

Thursday:

Packed up the car and headed to a beach in Half Moon Bay. We hauled in some chairs, blankets, toys for the kids, and a cooler full of beer.

But The Mens? They forgot the beer OPENER. They managed to get one open, and the rest set in the bag, looking quite sad.

We’ve been on vacation with this family before. They have a boy who is eight, and every time, he’s not too thrilled about my four-year-old boy being up in his space, playing with his toys, breathing the same air. This time was no different. When asked why he was digging a hole, he said, “To bury the Bug in it up to his ears so he can’t move …. COME ON, Bug! Just GET in!”.

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Another insult that day was, “I wonder what Bug’s reaction would be if I duct taped him to a light pole”.

Hmmm.

At the beach, it was a wee bit overcast and foggy. I completely forgot sunscreen for myself and got a nice burn.

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And as we were leaving, a whole bunch o’ people on horses came down to the beach, and Bug was most fascinated with this event:

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We had a good lunch at a place called Cameron’s Restaurant, Pub & Inn.  The place has a cool history, complete with “alleged” stories of motorcycle gangs crashing in through the front to Capone’s sister being involved in some of the casino action going on at one point.

And then another night of sleeping in a small room with my husband snoring and clicking (jaw, maybe, I don’t know ,but I wanted to punch him in the throat) away and my little boy in a sleeping bag next to the bed who kept rolling into the wall or the bed, hollering out and snoring, as well.

Ah, good times.

 

Episode recounted by HotDrWife
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July 7th, 2008
Honest to Goodness Vacation, Part One

Ho-lee crap.

We took a real family vacation! Not the “I’m sorry, I have to attend 400 meetings and won’t see you until late afternoon and dinner”, but “We’re going to visit friends and stay at their house and relax and have a great time” kind of vacation.

Wednesday:

We packed up our bags, loaded up the Exploder and took off for the airport. We have the cart neatly stacked with our bags, booster seat on top. HDHusband is pulling the cart, I’m following behind pushing the stroller with a chatty four-year-old inside.

As we are rounding a corner to get in line for the check-in at United (and by the way, seriously, that line was really reeeeeally long and y’all should plan ahead just to be in that line), we walked right into my husband’s ex-girlfriend. You know, the one that quit one job and moved to another hospital to be closer to him. The one that bought a house in our neighborhood. The one that asked for sperm to make a baby with him … AFTER we were married.

As she was coming up the escalator, we were passing right in front. (Why isn’t this city any bigger? Honestly) She saw my husband and lit up like a damn Christmas tree. She then saw the booster seat, then saw me and my son, and looked like she might just cry on the spot.

Normally, she gives these femi-nazi death ray stares. She’ll stare you down until you look away or cry, yourself. But this time, she looked away and I continued to look.

Lovely start to the vacation.

The flight to San Francisco was totally uneventful. Upon arrival, my husband’s college friend picked us up and whisked our hungry selves away to his family’s home in a quiet little neighborhood in a city outside of San Francisco.

We had a great lunch on their back patio (really, how awesome is this!) …….

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… watched the kids jump on the killer trampoline, hung out for a few hours, and then eventually managed to drag our asses to dinner later that night, sans little ones. Ah yes, just the adults.

Dinner in Palo Alto.

Spectacular food.

Great ambiance.

The works.

After dinner, we went to a gelato shop across the street, and then walked down Main Street.

The trouble began somewhere around then …. you know when you just aren’t feeling right? Yeeeeeeeeeeeeah. So, we’ll just call this the “not all the good” hour or so in HDW’s life. After we got back in the car to make the twenty-oh-too-long-not-going-to-make it-minute drive back to their home, I got violently ill right as we happened to be driving past HDH’s buddy’s office (poor cleaning people!!) and it went severely downhill from there.

So, yeah. We’ll just skip over this part.

I went home, sick as a dog, shaking, and went to bed.

So, um.

Yay for vacation …….?

 

to be cont’d …

 

Episode recounted by HotDrWife
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July 1st, 2008
Things I Say Daily (in no particular order)

1. Dude, I’m aware.

2. You are the BEST boy in the whole world.

3. What the fuck ever.

4. What’s that smell?

5. GOD! I JUST CLEANED THIS ROOM FIVE MINUTES AGO AND IT ALREADY LOOKS LIKE HELL!

6. There’s the trash can; use it.

7. No, I’m sorry, but you do have to wear clothes to school. It’s a rule.

8. Do you have to go potty? Then why are you holding your ‘nis?

9. I will kick your ass, no lie.

10. I need wine. Seriously.

Episode recounted by HotDrWife
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June 30th, 2008
Things My Husband Says Daily

1. The key issues are as follows: Number 1 (insert issue) Number 2 (insert issue) Number 3 (insert issue).

2. They are taking years off my life.

3. BUG! CIRCLES!!

4. Thiiiiis is Briiiiiiiiiiiiian … (hic!)

5. What are we doing for dinner?

6. Do you have the tickets?

7. That reminds me of the Battle of (insert some name here) ….

8. That reminds me of when (insert sports figure person here did this or that and somehow it will apply to what you said about the milk going bad or some mundane thing) …

9. I’m just going to work on the tank for five minutes.

10. Fix!

Episode recounted by HotDrWife
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